Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize