I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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