Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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