I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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