dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
