therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
