Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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