I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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