"it" just moved
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This beer is not sobering me up at all
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize