Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
