Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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