This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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