no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize