I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
