drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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