I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Ketchup is God's man juice
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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