Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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