Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
