it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
