I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Randomize
