I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize