what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
