I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
