Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
