I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
