i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
