My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
