just come out here and I will go home with you...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
