Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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