he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize