Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
