you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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