Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
