i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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