$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I looked at my own cervix.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
