He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize