Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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