You really coming over, don't trick.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
