I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
