Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
