you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
