Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
