loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
