but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
