Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i used baking grease as lip gloss
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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