even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize