youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
