at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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