found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
