READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
