the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
