why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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