FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
