There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize