She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
