How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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