It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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