ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
