In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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