Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
