youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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