Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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