laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
