So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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