So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
