my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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