i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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