Buhtt sex?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
