then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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