Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
