bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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