Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize