The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize