Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
