uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Randomize
